and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
