very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
