i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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