Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
