Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
