There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
