Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
