Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
