found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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