Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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