i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize