Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
