Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
