At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
do nipples grow back?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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