I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
