I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize