Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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