talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
