But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
