You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize