I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
