waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
