I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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