i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She told me I should be a condom model.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
