I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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