I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
