I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
