nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
