Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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