If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
