your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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