Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the day after is always just damage control
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
