You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
