So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
