So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
