he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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