gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
