the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
