Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
