you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just want to make out with him forever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
