D3 body, D1 cock
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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