I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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