i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
