Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
