we have pet lesbian snakes
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
