of course. lets lasso hookers.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize