so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
