I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize