My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
