I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize