I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
