I'm eating all of the evidence.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
