like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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