she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
