Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
