I want to stick my p in your. b.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
