Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I have post one night stand depression
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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