You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
