He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
