My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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