They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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