would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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