Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
